Imaging yourself going to sleep tonight and wake up in a dream tomorrow, a nightmare dream where you lost sense of where you are, sense of time, sense of familiarity, numb, disconnected from your enviroment and your previous memories. You wake up in a new world where you feel like there is a mental barrier between you and eveything else. You see eveything in front of you but you can’t fully interact with it. It’s like everything in front of you is a screen that’s up right against your eyes as if you are experiencing the world through a virtual reality glass. The depth and liveliness of the world is gone.
The place you’ve lived in for over a decade no longer seems familiar, nothing hits you anymore. You’re talking with someone face to face and it feels like they’re not even real even though you know they are physically here. You drive from one place to another place and you forget how you get there, the memories of the drive is almost non-existsent and blurry. All your memories are scattered and blurry, they lost sense of time. Things you did last month and things you did 2 minutes ago have no difference emotionally. Life feels weird in general, things don’t make sense and you lose sense of your future. Everyday is a new day yet everyday feels the same. 5AM in the morning and 5PM at noon feel the same. Place A and Place B feel the same. It’s like you experience eveything but without any kind of feelings. The only feelings left are anxiety and being depressed.
Then there are times when your parents or your wife is sitting next to you and you think wow, how weird that they’re your parents or she is your wife.
I can’t speak for Depersonalization because I don’t really experience Depersonalization but I do have bouts of Depersonalization.
Stay strong!
Brain Defect - Battle against mental illness. 