I’m going to be using my own words to describe DP/DR, I’m not even going to copy it from the internet because you won’t be able to know what’s it feel like to have DP/DR anyways. But I will try my best to explain so you have some what an idea of how it feels like.
DP/DR is a dissociative disorder, you can’t not understand dissociation unless you’re disscociated. There are two components, Depersonalization and Derealization. In the lastest DSM5, it’s been combined together but I’m not fond of the idea. There are certainly overlaps but I think it’s interesting to study them on a deeper brain level. Some people experience Depersonalization more than Derealization and vice versa.
Humans are naturally attached to our own bodies, thoughts and sense of self, we are also naturally attached to our environment(the world), it’s so natural that we do not even notice it at all. Until something goes wrong and the connection breaks and you become dissociated, it is when you notice something is really really wrong. Depersonalization can be described as mental disconnection from your own body parts, thoughts and your sense of self while derealization can be described as mental disconnection from your own environment, the world seems unreal or fake. Sense of self? What is that? For the “normal” folks out there, take a moment and think about YOURSELF, does it feel weird or empty? No! But for someone with depersonalization, when you think of yourself, you feel empty/void. For the normal folks out there, when you look at yourself in the mirror, do you feel like you don’t recognize yourself? No! But all of these seem lost/gone for someone suffering from Depersonalization. I mainly suffer from Derealization but I do have bouts of depersonalization so I am describing how I felt during those periods of time.
Then you maybe asking yourself how can the world seem fake? It’s right here in front of you. Well, put on a virtual reality glasses and wear it for the whole week, see everything through a screen and welcome to the world of derealization. You feel like you’re seeing everything through a screen, as if they are not physically here. The world used to feel like a beautiful place, the city that you’ve been living all your life, you just don’t feel them anymore, a feeling that cannot be described.
The words that I like to use to describe DP/DR is:
“Everything that makes a human feel like a human is taken a way just like that.”
On top of all of these, I can literally list 100 symptoms that can accompany DP/DR. When something so vital and fundamental go wrong, everything feels wrong.
Sam G
Brain Defect - Battle against mental illness. 